Not so Random Musings

Aww, man. It's too bad you are sick. I kind of got used to the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but now it's just jelly. Jelly is sweet, but you can get tired of it after a while if you eat it too much.

Oh well.

I am getting over my phobia of riding on the street with my bicycle. It's so freeing. I have always loved the romantic thought of just riding through my college campus on a bicycle, and now I sort of feel like I'm living my dream. I guess I didn't really take into account the 20,000 other people, the traffic, and the 110-degree weather in my fantasy. Oh well, you live and learn.

I always think that I am getting over someone. I was just talking to my roommate about this. Over the past summer I made the whole vow of falling in love with Jesus and everything, and it definitely worked because I don't think I've ever felt closer to God than now. But coming back to school and seeing new faces and old hurts was really hard. I thought that I was over a lot of people, but seeing them just brings the feelings all back, and I feel as though someone dropped a 20-ton pound of ambergris in my stomach (because I assume that if you have ambergris in your stomach, you will probably feel pretty gross). It's weird. But on the other hand, I have had a lot more pleasant encounters with friends. I never realized how many awesome people that I am surrounded with until recently. I feel closer than ever to people whose friendship I know I took for granted. I love the fact that new years all ways bring second chances. I sort of feel as though I am in kindergarten all over again, where you make and break friends so easily, but little transgressions can be solved overa cookie and a hug. Isn't it funny? I thought I was getting older, but I am now identifying with my 5-year-old self. I love it. I love this time of year. I love the fact that I feel like everything is a new beginning. Fall is the time where leaves begin to fall, and it seems like nature is closing its eyes for a long, peaceful sleep, but the only thing that I can see in it is the dawn of a new era...

I am beginning to understand why they say that freshman year is the hardest year. When I first got here last year I felt as though I was being thrown in a pond of a thousand piranhas and each piranha was some sort of test, some sort of class, some sort of person, just any sort of challenge that I had to swim through in order to make it to the other side. I know that I got bitten several times in this pond, but I know that I learned from my mistakes. I feel as though that was some sort of qualifying round, like an academic boot camp that everyone goes through in order to see if you have what it takes to survive at Georgia Tech.....or just college in general. It's breaks my heart to see that a lot of people didn't even make it through that phase. I know that it definitely wasn't academics that messed people up. Well, I take that back. There is definitely a benefit in doing well in school, but that's definitely not the only reason. Anyway, enough about that. I am just happy to be here, happy about my classes, happy about my jobs (whether it be PL'ing, duty-ing, floor mom-ing, etc.), happy that Jesus loves me, happy that I am learning to love others, and just happy in general. How long it will last? I don't know, and I don't care. I am going to revel in it as long as possible.

*I just want to live.*
~ Good Charlotte


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