need to find out what marijuana smells like. You know, so I won't be the laughing stock anymore. If anybody has a joint or some brownies that they don't need...
hook me up.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I Wait by Beth Elliot
I wait.
Dear Lord, Thy ways
Are past finding out,
Thy love too high.
O hold me still
Beneath Thy shadow.
It is enough that Thou
Lift up the light
Of Thy countenance.
I wait--
Because I am commanded
So to do. My mind
Is filled with wonderings.
My soul asks "Why?"
But then the quiet word,
"Wait thou only
Upon God."
And so, not even for the light
To show a step ahead,
But for Thee, dear Lord,
I wait.
~
Dear Lord, Thy ways
Are past finding out,
Thy love too high.
O hold me still
Beneath Thy shadow.
It is enough that Thou
Lift up the light
Of Thy countenance.
I wait--
Because I am commanded
So to do. My mind
Is filled with wonderings.
My soul asks "Why?"
But then the quiet word,
"Wait thou only
Upon God."
And so, not even for the light
To show a step ahead,
But for Thee, dear Lord,
I wait.
~
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
COFFEE
Illegible words
form on the lines
of the tongue
detach themselves from reason
and plunge their way
through the lips
and fall upon
reasonable ears
and yet nothing
happens
......
Oh
the power of
caffeine.
form on the lines
of the tongue
detach themselves from reason
and plunge their way
through the lips
and fall upon
reasonable ears
and yet nothing
happens
......
Oh
the power of
caffeine.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Listening To: "Salvation is Here"
by: Hillsong United
Reading: Hamlet by William Shakespeare
I really like that feature on xanga. Too bad I have to do it manually here on blogger. Oh well.
So I just didn't pass my driver's test for the second time ("didn't pass" sounds better than "fail"). It really helped that both of my parents were there this time. I also had the sweetest lady as a driving tester, but still. I am not mad really at anyone or anything in particular. If anything, I am just kind of pissed at everything and nothing at the same time. I didn't cry this time around. There is no point in acting like I'm not dissappointed, though, is there? I really want to pass. That's all I want to do.
I am putting this on the blog because I think it is better to externaiize (is that a word?) these frustrations so that I can get them out of my system. I went to Walmart right after the test and I really wanted to indulge in chocotherapy. I knew that this was the wrong way to go.....especially since I hadn't had breakfast yet.
I just don't like to fail. As much as I want the music to cue up right now, and have Uncle Jesse explain to me that everything is going to be all right, Michelle....as much as I want to hug DJ and Stephanie and bing bang boom another life lesson is learned in a mere 30 minute time slot and I walk away from this with a positive attitude....
I don't think that's going to happen. I am signing this in a funk. I think I shall stay in said funk for about an hour, if that's all right with you all. I'll talk to you when everything is .....better.
Reading: Hamlet by William Shakespeare
I really like that feature on xanga. Too bad I have to do it manually here on blogger. Oh well.
So I just didn't pass my driver's test for the second time ("didn't pass" sounds better than "fail"). It really helped that both of my parents were there this time. I also had the sweetest lady as a driving tester, but still. I am not mad really at anyone or anything in particular. If anything, I am just kind of pissed at everything and nothing at the same time. I didn't cry this time around. There is no point in acting like I'm not dissappointed, though, is there? I really want to pass. That's all I want to do.
I am putting this on the blog because I think it is better to externaiize (is that a word?) these frustrations so that I can get them out of my system. I went to Walmart right after the test and I really wanted to indulge in chocotherapy. I knew that this was the wrong way to go.....especially since I hadn't had breakfast yet.
I just don't like to fail. As much as I want the music to cue up right now, and have Uncle Jesse explain to me that everything is going to be all right, Michelle....as much as I want to hug DJ and Stephanie and bing bang boom another life lesson is learned in a mere 30 minute time slot and I walk away from this with a positive attitude....
I don't think that's going to happen. I am signing this in a funk. I think I shall stay in said funk for about an hour, if that's all right with you all. I'll talk to you when everything is .....better.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Burnt popcorn /=/ marijauna
I found this out the hard way last night when I was on duty.
Come on, though. How am I supposed to know what marijuana smells like? I called the hall director on duty and made him come all the way over to the other side of East campus to tell me that it was just burnt popcorn. Whoops. I did the right thing, so I don't feel bad about that. I wonder if I am going to have to amp up my gangsta so that next time I think it's marijuana, I'll know.
Gangsta T in the hizzle.
Don't eat hash browns at 1:30 in the morning, no matter how delicious they look/taste. You WILL feel it in the morning...
I am being such a bum. I need to read Hamlet for my Shakespeare class, but facebook seems so much more appealing right now. I think I am trying to make up for the times that I wasn't on facebook these past couple of weeks, but this is starting to get ridiculous. OK. I am going to shut up now. Shakespeare, here I come!
One last thing: What kind of mess is it that I only have one test in Shakespeare? What the heck, man? At least it will be the first essay test that I have had since I graduated from high school. I am looking forward to BS'ing my way to an A in that class.
If only it was that simple.
OK, I am done.
*Tamara pretends like she is getting off of the computer when instead she is about to peruse through TV Links to see what TV show she can watch today*
Come on, though. How am I supposed to know what marijuana smells like? I called the hall director on duty and made him come all the way over to the other side of East campus to tell me that it was just burnt popcorn. Whoops. I did the right thing, so I don't feel bad about that. I wonder if I am going to have to amp up my gangsta so that next time I think it's marijuana, I'll know.
Gangsta T in the hizzle.
Don't eat hash browns at 1:30 in the morning, no matter how delicious they look/taste. You WILL feel it in the morning...
I am being such a bum. I need to read Hamlet for my Shakespeare class, but facebook seems so much more appealing right now. I think I am trying to make up for the times that I wasn't on facebook these past couple of weeks, but this is starting to get ridiculous. OK. I am going to shut up now. Shakespeare, here I come!
One last thing: What kind of mess is it that I only have one test in Shakespeare? What the heck, man? At least it will be the first essay test that I have had since I graduated from high school. I am looking forward to BS'ing my way to an A in that class.
If only it was that simple.
OK, I am done.
*Tamara pretends like she is getting off of the computer when instead she is about to peruse through TV Links to see what TV show she can watch today*
I thought that was yesterday
The way I see it, college shouldn't remind me of high school.
I guess I am setting my standards really high, but hear me out. I think when I first came to college I expected things to play out where you should know everyone, and if you only hang out with a selected group of people then you are an exclusive loser and you needed a social life. I think I was wrong about both of these. There is something about cliques, though, that will always bother me. At least, some of the ones that I know. I realize that everyone is exclusive at some point in time, and it's not really fair to expect otherwise from a race of humans whose number one goal is to belong. Actually, if that's how you like to roll, then by all means do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable.
It really bothers me, though, when people try to fit me in the exact same box as them. I don't think it's really fair to hold anyone to a certain criteria that will either help you or put you on an island by yourself. I mean, what the heck? I thought the point of life was to try and be your own person. Why would I want to only hang out with a certain group of people and only do certain things that are expected of me?
Sometimes I feel crazy because of what I do. I guess that is partly because I sometimes I am treated like I am crazy for what I do. Hmm.
I am just bothered people's insecurities and how they have to take it out on other people. But this is the nature of the beast. C'est la vie.
I guess I am setting my standards really high, but hear me out. I think when I first came to college I expected things to play out where you should know everyone, and if you only hang out with a selected group of people then you are an exclusive loser and you needed a social life. I think I was wrong about both of these. There is something about cliques, though, that will always bother me. At least, some of the ones that I know. I realize that everyone is exclusive at some point in time, and it's not really fair to expect otherwise from a race of humans whose number one goal is to belong. Actually, if that's how you like to roll, then by all means do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable.
It really bothers me, though, when people try to fit me in the exact same box as them. I don't think it's really fair to hold anyone to a certain criteria that will either help you or put you on an island by yourself. I mean, what the heck? I thought the point of life was to try and be your own person. Why would I want to only hang out with a certain group of people and only do certain things that are expected of me?
Sometimes I feel crazy because of what I do. I guess that is partly because I sometimes I am treated like I am crazy for what I do. Hmm.
I am just bothered people's insecurities and how they have to take it out on other people. But this is the nature of the beast. C'est la vie.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
I'm FLLLLLYYYYYYYINNNGG!!!!!
Dude. I was so out of it last night. As soon as I hit "publish post" on the last blog I literally blacked out. And when I say blacked out, I mean I opened my eyes and I could seriously not figure out where I was, what I was doing, and why I was there. It was kind of scary.
But I got sleep, and that is all that matters. What what.
I wonder sometimes if I am immature, and also if I am the only one who is immature. By immature, I mean in the way that I live my life. Exhibit A: Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday my first class is in the Management Building in Tech Square. For those of you who don't know, the Management building is attached to the Georgia Tech Barnes & Noble Bookstore. You know, the place where you sell your soul and perhaps your firstborn at the beginning of every semester for some textbooks and maybe an overpriced PRS transmitter. Anyway, every MWF I find myself waking up (oftentimes too late) and leaving my dorm with 10 minutes to get to class on time. However, whenever I walk into the entrance that can take me either into B&N on the left or the stairs that take me to the first floor of the Management Building, I almost always take the door on the left. Why, you might ask? Because inside of the B&N is an escalator. And on the escalator is where I like to find myself every morning. Why? Because escalators are fuuuuun. I mean, they are like moving stairs! Isn't that a good enough reason? And the fact that I am going so high up makes me excited because when I look back on the ground that I just left I feel as though I'm flying. Yes, fllllyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiing. IT'S AWESOME!!!!!! The way I see it, it's worth the added two minutes that it takes to go up the escalator, then through the second floor, out of the B&N, through the Management building, and then down the stairs to my actual class. Totally, completely, utterly worth it.
And I wonder, is that normal? I mean sometimes I get the feeling as I go through college life that people are so far removed from their old childhood imaginations. Seriously, I wonder if I am the only college student who gets a kick out of using an umbrella when it's raining outside (it's like you have some sort of forcefield around you that is impenetrable by the drops of rain) or if I am the only college student who still opens up the washer so that you can see the clothes swish around (it's the coolest thing ever). Am I the only college student who thinks its cool to wear lab goggles?
Am I?
Hmm.....maybe I should go order a tall white mocha frappuccino and discuss politics while wearing Birkenstocks.
And all beige.
I think that would do the trick. Maybe that will convince you all that I am not socially retarded in how I think about the world. Maybe then I will be taken seriously. Maybe I won't snicker every time someone says "duty" anymore. Maybe I will stop watching the kiddie shows like Arthur or Little Einsteins. Maybe I will stop feeling cool whenever I unflip my cell phone. Maybe I will stop riding the escalator whenever the opportunity presents itself. Maybe....maybe.
Pish. Who am I kidding? Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at approximately 8:28 am you know where to find me. I will be in the process of flying to the moon by way of a super cool escalator. Feel free to join me if you like...I only have one rule for those who want to embark with me on this adventure....
No. Birkenstocks. Allowed.
*But we're never gonna survive....unless we get a little crazy.*
~Alanis Morissette
But I got sleep, and that is all that matters. What what.
I wonder sometimes if I am immature, and also if I am the only one who is immature. By immature, I mean in the way that I live my life. Exhibit A: Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday my first class is in the Management Building in Tech Square. For those of you who don't know, the Management building is attached to the Georgia Tech Barnes & Noble Bookstore. You know, the place where you sell your soul and perhaps your firstborn at the beginning of every semester for some textbooks and maybe an overpriced PRS transmitter. Anyway, every MWF I find myself waking up (oftentimes too late) and leaving my dorm with 10 minutes to get to class on time. However, whenever I walk into the entrance that can take me either into B&N on the left or the stairs that take me to the first floor of the Management Building, I almost always take the door on the left. Why, you might ask? Because inside of the B&N is an escalator. And on the escalator is where I like to find myself every morning. Why? Because escalators are fuuuuun. I mean, they are like moving stairs! Isn't that a good enough reason? And the fact that I am going so high up makes me excited because when I look back on the ground that I just left I feel as though I'm flying. Yes, fllllyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiing. IT'S AWESOME!!!!!! The way I see it, it's worth the added two minutes that it takes to go up the escalator, then through the second floor, out of the B&N, through the Management building, and then down the stairs to my actual class. Totally, completely, utterly worth it.
And I wonder, is that normal? I mean sometimes I get the feeling as I go through college life that people are so far removed from their old childhood imaginations. Seriously, I wonder if I am the only college student who gets a kick out of using an umbrella when it's raining outside (it's like you have some sort of forcefield around you that is impenetrable by the drops of rain) or if I am the only college student who still opens up the washer so that you can see the clothes swish around (it's the coolest thing ever). Am I the only college student who thinks its cool to wear lab goggles?
Am I?
Hmm.....maybe I should go order a tall white mocha frappuccino and discuss politics while wearing Birkenstocks.
And all beige.
I think that would do the trick. Maybe that will convince you all that I am not socially retarded in how I think about the world. Maybe then I will be taken seriously. Maybe I won't snicker every time someone says "duty" anymore. Maybe I will stop watching the kiddie shows like Arthur or Little Einsteins. Maybe I will stop feeling cool whenever I unflip my cell phone. Maybe I will stop riding the escalator whenever the opportunity presents itself. Maybe....maybe.
Pish. Who am I kidding? Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at approximately 8:28 am you know where to find me. I will be in the process of flying to the moon by way of a super cool escalator. Feel free to join me if you like...I only have one rule for those who want to embark with me on this adventure....
No. Birkenstocks. Allowed.
*But we're never gonna survive....unless we get a little crazy.*
~Alanis Morissette
my eyes doth droop version 2.0
I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
tired.
I never thought I'd experience burnout, but I think I am smack dab in the middle of it right now.
I'm too pooped to poop.
Gross.
Seriously though, I have had this one theme that has threaded its way through my subconscious over the past couple of days, interwoven in the mindset that I will blog when I have the time. Now the opportunity has presented itself I realize that I am not even close to the right frame of mind where I can even begin to articulate what I have to say. I have reverted to the lowest tier on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and the only thought on my mind right now is sleep.
Sleep.
Sleep.
It's like candy.
Sweet, sweet candy.
Dude, I am not even typing sense. GOOD NIGHT. I'll tell you what I really wanted to tell you later.
You know, when I'm alive.
Round and round the carousel
It's got you under it's spell
Movin' so fast, going nowhere
Up and down the ferris wheel
Tell me how does it feel
To be so high
Lookin' down here
Is it lonely?
Lonely?
Lonely?
~Norah Jones
tired.
I never thought I'd experience burnout, but I think I am smack dab in the middle of it right now.
I'm too pooped to poop.
Gross.
Seriously though, I have had this one theme that has threaded its way through my subconscious over the past couple of days, interwoven in the mindset that I will blog when I have the time. Now the opportunity has presented itself I realize that I am not even close to the right frame of mind where I can even begin to articulate what I have to say. I have reverted to the lowest tier on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and the only thought on my mind right now is sleep.
Sleep.
Sleep.
It's like candy.
Sweet, sweet candy.
Dude, I am not even typing sense. GOOD NIGHT. I'll tell you what I really wanted to tell you later.
You know, when I'm alive.
Round and round the carousel
It's got you under it's spell
Movin' so fast, going nowhere
Up and down the ferris wheel
Tell me how does it feel
To be so high
Lookin' down here
Is it lonely?
Lonely?
Lonely?
~Norah Jones
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Actually....
Tamara: Whenever you say "actually"...
J: Uh-uh.
T: Uh-uh?
J: Uh-uh.
T: Why are you saying uh-uh?
J: Because you asked me if I have ever seen "Actually"
T: I SAID whenever you say "Actually".
J: Oh....well, whenever I say "actually"?
T: Well, whenever you say "actually" I always think it's going to be something good. But that time it wasn't. That was pretty lame.
.....
T: Actually, I don't know why I said that just now.
[silence, then crazed, early morning, deluded laughter]
J: Uh-uh.
T: Uh-uh?
J: Uh-uh.
T: Why are you saying uh-uh?
J: Because you asked me if I have ever seen "Actually"
T: I SAID whenever you say "Actually".
J: Oh....well, whenever I say "actually"?
T: Well, whenever you say "actually" I always think it's going to be something good. But that time it wasn't. That was pretty lame.
.....
T: Actually, I don't know why I said that just now.
[silence, then crazed, early morning, deluded laughter]
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Murder Myra the Killer Care Bear
She'll smother you with love and a pillow.
Oh Leronia, how I miss you so.
I have an Inorganic Lab due in 3 1/2 hours. And I am blogging. Tsk tsk. I just have a lot on my chest.
I wish that I had had a strong support system last year, in my freshman year. I know that I had a lot of party friends, friends that I thought I could have come to in a clutch, and the fact is that I did. But I guess I always thought that if you were popular that meant that you were secure. That someone always had your back. How I was so wrong. I guess I sometimes look at my residents and wish that I had had that chemistry that they have with my hall last year--its so beneficial in the long run. I guess I wish I could have someone to run to and cry with without feeling like I was imposing. I thank God that he sent me people like that who did not necessarily live in my dorm, but I just wonder sometimes what life would have been like if I lived in a place like that my freshman year...if I would have been hurt as often...if I would have hurt others as often....if I would have made as many mistakes as I did. I do not regret....I just wonder.
I am learning love. Love is not something you do, I am realizing. It is something you are. Does that make sense? Sometimes I realize how selfish this thing that I have been calling love is, and it just makes me mad/sad/confused, because I always had in the back of my mind that love is ultimately looking out for number 1. Not so, Mister Chips. I have always thought that eventually if I "love" enough I will make enough connections that the world would not be so cruel. If I smiled enough, I would have more favors. If I joked around enough I would not have to face any more pain. If I just lived in service of others eventually I would enough people who wanted to live for me...and I would be golden. I don't know how to explain that more, I guess I just kind of thought that I would get to the point where I reaped the benefits of love.
I was so wrong.
I don't know how to love. I am weak and a selfish child. I have wanted everything for myself up until now. I wanted the benefits of a task that I wasn't doing right in the first place.
GOD is LOVE.
Why can't I understand that? Why am I having such a hard time realizing that it is not about me?
I am so fallible. I am so dirty. But God still loves me.
God STILL loves me.
Oh.....how much I want to be like Him.
I don't really know how to end this post so...yeah.
"For I am wounded
And unworthy
I am selfish
and untrue
But you are holy
You're the Healer
You forgave me
and made me new."
~Audio Adrenaline
Oh Leronia, how I miss you so.
I have an Inorganic Lab due in 3 1/2 hours. And I am blogging. Tsk tsk. I just have a lot on my chest.
I wish that I had had a strong support system last year, in my freshman year. I know that I had a lot of party friends, friends that I thought I could have come to in a clutch, and the fact is that I did. But I guess I always thought that if you were popular that meant that you were secure. That someone always had your back. How I was so wrong. I guess I sometimes look at my residents and wish that I had had that chemistry that they have with my hall last year--its so beneficial in the long run. I guess I wish I could have someone to run to and cry with without feeling like I was imposing. I thank God that he sent me people like that who did not necessarily live in my dorm, but I just wonder sometimes what life would have been like if I lived in a place like that my freshman year...if I would have been hurt as often...if I would have hurt others as often....if I would have made as many mistakes as I did. I do not regret....I just wonder.
I am learning love. Love is not something you do, I am realizing. It is something you are. Does that make sense? Sometimes I realize how selfish this thing that I have been calling love is, and it just makes me mad/sad/confused, because I always had in the back of my mind that love is ultimately looking out for number 1. Not so, Mister Chips. I have always thought that eventually if I "love" enough I will make enough connections that the world would not be so cruel. If I smiled enough, I would have more favors. If I joked around enough I would not have to face any more pain. If I just lived in service of others eventually I would enough people who wanted to live for me...and I would be golden. I don't know how to explain that more, I guess I just kind of thought that I would get to the point where I reaped the benefits of love.
I was so wrong.
I don't know how to love. I am weak and a selfish child. I have wanted everything for myself up until now. I wanted the benefits of a task that I wasn't doing right in the first place.
GOD is LOVE.
Why can't I understand that? Why am I having such a hard time realizing that it is not about me?
I am so fallible. I am so dirty. But God still loves me.
God STILL loves me.
Oh.....how much I want to be like Him.
I don't really know how to end this post so...yeah.
"For I am wounded
And unworthy
I am selfish
and untrue
But you are holy
You're the Healer
You forgave me
and made me new."
~Audio Adrenaline
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
This is a song/speech from the man that wrote and directed Moulin Rouge, Baz Luhrmann. I was really touched by it...I hope you will be too.
~~~~
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
Wear Sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering experience…
I will dispense this advice, now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth;
oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself, and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind;
the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy;
sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind; the race is long,
and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…
the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives,
some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t,
maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t,
maybe you’ll divorce at 40,
maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…
what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much
or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance,
so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can,
don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it,
it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings, their your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander,
you too will get old and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young
prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse;
but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
~~~
~~~~
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
Wear Sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering experience…
I will dispense this advice, now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth;
oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself, and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind;
the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy;
sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind; the race is long,
and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…
the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives,
some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t,
maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t,
maybe you’ll divorce at 40,
maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…
what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much
or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance,
so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can,
don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it,
it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings, their your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander,
you too will get old and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young
prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse;
but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
~~~
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Preach on the Housetops...
"Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of the falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."
~Matthew 10:27-31
~Matthew 10:27-31
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Word Vomit
Tiara: How did your makeout session go last night?
Tamara: It went really well. My pillow and I are closer now than ever before.
;-)
Tamara: It went really well. My pillow and I are closer now than ever before.
;-)
Friday, August 24, 2007
Not so Random Musings
Aww, man. It's too bad you are sick. I kind of got used to the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but now it's just jelly. Jelly is sweet, but you can get tired of it after a while if you eat it too much.
Oh well.
I am getting over my phobia of riding on the street with my bicycle. It's so freeing. I have always loved the romantic thought of just riding through my college campus on a bicycle, and now I sort of feel like I'm living my dream. I guess I didn't really take into account the 20,000 other people, the traffic, and the 110-degree weather in my fantasy. Oh well, you live and learn.
I always think that I am getting over someone. I was just talking to my roommate about this. Over the past summer I made the whole vow of falling in love with Jesus and everything, and it definitely worked because I don't think I've ever felt closer to God than now. But coming back to school and seeing new faces and old hurts was really hard. I thought that I was over a lot of people, but seeing them just brings the feelings all back, and I feel as though someone dropped a 20-ton pound of ambergris in my stomach (because I assume that if you have ambergris in your stomach, you will probably feel pretty gross). It's weird. But on the other hand, I have had a lot more pleasant encounters with friends. I never realized how many awesome people that I am surrounded with until recently. I feel closer than ever to people whose friendship I know I took for granted. I love the fact that new years all ways bring second chances. I sort of feel as though I am in kindergarten all over again, where you make and break friends so easily, but little transgressions can be solved overa cookie and a hug. Isn't it funny? I thought I was getting older, but I am now identifying with my 5-year-old self. I love it. I love this time of year. I love the fact that I feel like everything is a new beginning. Fall is the time where leaves begin to fall, and it seems like nature is closing its eyes for a long, peaceful sleep, but the only thing that I can see in it is the dawn of a new era...
I am beginning to understand why they say that freshman year is the hardest year. When I first got here last year I felt as though I was being thrown in a pond of a thousand piranhas and each piranha was some sort of test, some sort of class, some sort of person, just any sort of challenge that I had to swim through in order to make it to the other side. I know that I got bitten several times in this pond, but I know that I learned from my mistakes. I feel as though that was some sort of qualifying round, like an academic boot camp that everyone goes through in order to see if you have what it takes to survive at Georgia Tech.....or just college in general. It's breaks my heart to see that a lot of people didn't even make it through that phase. I know that it definitely wasn't academics that messed people up. Well, I take that back. There is definitely a benefit in doing well in school, but that's definitely not the only reason. Anyway, enough about that. I am just happy to be here, happy about my classes, happy about my jobs (whether it be PL'ing, duty-ing, floor mom-ing, etc.), happy that Jesus loves me, happy that I am learning to love others, and just happy in general. How long it will last? I don't know, and I don't care. I am going to revel in it as long as possible.
*I just want to live.*
~ Good Charlotte
~
Oh well.
I am getting over my phobia of riding on the street with my bicycle. It's so freeing. I have always loved the romantic thought of just riding through my college campus on a bicycle, and now I sort of feel like I'm living my dream. I guess I didn't really take into account the 20,000 other people, the traffic, and the 110-degree weather in my fantasy. Oh well, you live and learn.
I always think that I am getting over someone. I was just talking to my roommate about this. Over the past summer I made the whole vow of falling in love with Jesus and everything, and it definitely worked because I don't think I've ever felt closer to God than now. But coming back to school and seeing new faces and old hurts was really hard. I thought that I was over a lot of people, but seeing them just brings the feelings all back, and I feel as though someone dropped a 20-ton pound of ambergris in my stomach (because I assume that if you have ambergris in your stomach, you will probably feel pretty gross). It's weird. But on the other hand, I have had a lot more pleasant encounters with friends. I never realized how many awesome people that I am surrounded with until recently. I feel closer than ever to people whose friendship I know I took for granted. I love the fact that new years all ways bring second chances. I sort of feel as though I am in kindergarten all over again, where you make and break friends so easily, but little transgressions can be solved overa cookie and a hug. Isn't it funny? I thought I was getting older, but I am now identifying with my 5-year-old self. I love it. I love this time of year. I love the fact that I feel like everything is a new beginning. Fall is the time where leaves begin to fall, and it seems like nature is closing its eyes for a long, peaceful sleep, but the only thing that I can see in it is the dawn of a new era...
I am beginning to understand why they say that freshman year is the hardest year. When I first got here last year I felt as though I was being thrown in a pond of a thousand piranhas and each piranha was some sort of test, some sort of class, some sort of person, just any sort of challenge that I had to swim through in order to make it to the other side. I know that I got bitten several times in this pond, but I know that I learned from my mistakes. I feel as though that was some sort of qualifying round, like an academic boot camp that everyone goes through in order to see if you have what it takes to survive at Georgia Tech.....or just college in general. It's breaks my heart to see that a lot of people didn't even make it through that phase. I know that it definitely wasn't academics that messed people up. Well, I take that back. There is definitely a benefit in doing well in school, but that's definitely not the only reason. Anyway, enough about that. I am just happy to be here, happy about my classes, happy about my jobs (whether it be PL'ing, duty-ing, floor mom-ing, etc.), happy that Jesus loves me, happy that I am learning to love others, and just happy in general. How long it will last? I don't know, and I don't care. I am going to revel in it as long as possible.
*I just want to live.*
~ Good Charlotte
~
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I'll Sleep When I Die
[1:30 in the morning, talking about losing functionality when you don't sleep]
Tamara: You know they say people who have little sleep are pretty much drunk.
Jane: really?
Tamara: Yeah, they say you might as well have XYZ amount of Blood alcohol content and that's how you function.
Jane: I have brown eyes.
[silence]
Tamara: Go to bed, Jane.
Tamara: You know they say people who have little sleep are pretty much drunk.
Jane: really?
Tamara: Yeah, they say you might as well have XYZ amount of Blood alcohol content and that's how you function.
Jane: I have brown eyes.
[silence]
Tamara: Go to bed, Jane.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Suitcase of Memories
Dude. My dad stepped on my glasses this morning. Even as I type right now I am constantly readjusting my frames so that my one-legged babies can readjust to their current crippled status. I didn't mean to fall asleep last night with them on...I just remember watching Futurama, and then all of a sudden it was morning. I wonder though.....I have been asking my parents for some new frames....and I have gotten tired of these ones.....in fact, I am thinking about switching to contacts....was this an indirect ploy by my subconscious, a scheduled plan by the ID inside of me to get rid of the old and bring in the new???? I wonder...
All I know is that I can't drive without glasses, so I need to come with the a solution. ASAP.
My family visited with my great aunts and uncles yesterday after church. Other than the fact that I was the one that had to drive all the way to Grayson, Ga, it was a lot better than I expected. I remember when I was younger, like in my early teens, I would always grimace when we had to go call on older relatives. I think it was because I was caught in the awkward age where you were too old to get money just for looking cute but too young to get advice on life or other stuff. I basically felt like it was a stare-down match between people who were too old to understand me and too old to care. I guess since I am getting older and maturer, I can only be happy that my eyes are being opened more and more to what a blessing family is. When we were there, although I did not get to talk that much with my aunts and uncles (I actually napped a little bit), it was the atmosphere of family ties that really got me. I loved sitting there, listening to my 82-year-old aunt talk about life, love, and her aspirations of marriage (since she has never been married). I loved listening to my uncle talk about his old church in New York, and how it was pastoring for so many years. I even loved when they made us grandchildren stand up there like the von Trapp family singers, singing "Oh Lord, How Excellent". But my favorite, favorite part of the evening was when everyone gathered around in my uncle's family room and sang "I Love You Lord/Sweet Holy Spirit". I loved how there were so many generations of one family in one room, singing praises to the Lord. It seemed as though the minor grievances that were ever an issue weren't even important because blood IS thicker than water. It was beautiful, and I hope I can remember that moment forever.
As I get older and look back on all of the time that I wasted trying to be older, trying to have more responsibility, just trying to lose time, I realize that life is so much better when it's taken one day at a time. So that's what I'm going to do. Starting now. Well, maybe tomorrow.
I read "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom in basically one sitting yesterday. This is a good book to read to if you don't understand what I am talking about when I say "carpe diem". In fact, that book is required reading for anyone that reads this post. Haha, suckered you into that one. Let me know how you like it.
*Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.*
~Mark Twain
All I know is that I can't drive without glasses, so I need to come with the a solution. ASAP.
My family visited with my great aunts and uncles yesterday after church. Other than the fact that I was the one that had to drive all the way to Grayson, Ga, it was a lot better than I expected. I remember when I was younger, like in my early teens, I would always grimace when we had to go call on older relatives. I think it was because I was caught in the awkward age where you were too old to get money just for looking cute but too young to get advice on life or other stuff. I basically felt like it was a stare-down match between people who were too old to understand me and too old to care. I guess since I am getting older and maturer, I can only be happy that my eyes are being opened more and more to what a blessing family is. When we were there, although I did not get to talk that much with my aunts and uncles (I actually napped a little bit), it was the atmosphere of family ties that really got me. I loved sitting there, listening to my 82-year-old aunt talk about life, love, and her aspirations of marriage (since she has never been married). I loved listening to my uncle talk about his old church in New York, and how it was pastoring for so many years. I even loved when they made us grandchildren stand up there like the von Trapp family singers, singing "Oh Lord, How Excellent". But my favorite, favorite part of the evening was when everyone gathered around in my uncle's family room and sang "I Love You Lord/Sweet Holy Spirit". I loved how there were so many generations of one family in one room, singing praises to the Lord. It seemed as though the minor grievances that were ever an issue weren't even important because blood IS thicker than water. It was beautiful, and I hope I can remember that moment forever.
As I get older and look back on all of the time that I wasted trying to be older, trying to have more responsibility, just trying to lose time, I realize that life is so much better when it's taken one day at a time. So that's what I'm going to do. Starting now. Well, maybe tomorrow.
I read "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom in basically one sitting yesterday. This is a good book to read to if you don't understand what I am talking about when I say "carpe diem". In fact, that book is required reading for anyone that reads this post. Haha, suckered you into that one. Let me know how you like it.
*Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.*
~Mark Twain
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